Sad and disgusted...

Some people are simply unbelievable! A man, once great, who loved children with all his heart just passed away and what I see are people who post condolence messages yet add their own snide and malicious comments.

Tell me, why say you're sorry the man died if you have nothing nice to say about him? What is the point of joining a hundred groups dedicated to him because your friends did? It's nothing short of disgusting.

If you believe he did what they said he did to children, then that's your perogative and its fine. But DON'T say you're sorry he died then say things like, "Oh, so now his stuff is really gonna sell!" or "Fans mourn, children rejoice."

Tell me, since when do children rejoice over the DEATH of someone?

And really, what makes you any better than those vultures circling around him now or total fakes who merely go along with the crowd simply because everyone else does? If you belive in his guilt, then it is YOUR beliefs. There are millions who don't believe he was guilty and love his music, and those millions are truly saddened at his sudden demise.

I grew up with his music and what I learnt was that he was a man who tried to change the world. Who tried to reach out with his music and teach us to love the environment, to put aside our differences, to love children and to heal the world simply by looking at ourselves first and making the first step in our own neighbourhoods. He may have had his flaws but who doesn't?

Which man is infalliable?

All I have to say is, "Let he among us without sin, be the first to condemn!"

It is not for us to judge because WE were not personally wronged. What is wrong is to pretend or affect sympathy and sadness because others do!

This is my own opinion and frankly, if you have something snide to say, then fine. That's your perogative. But think first of his family and the people who loved him. Then ask yourself, what was the point of you offering false condolences? It is neither amusing nor funny.

Peace.

The simplest things...

I classify myself as a person who is very forgettable. Who is...just someone you pass on your way to your ultimate destination in life...someone who brushes up against you and yet leaves only a vague impression. Someone who is an invisble support system who will never be seen or heard.

I have always believed that there had to be a reason for everything. And yet, as cynical as I am, I still want to believe in magic. Some sort...any sort.

Today I turned on my computer like any other day and remembered to check my e-mail...amidst the multitudes of spam and updates for things I don't even remember subscribing to I saw a note upon which I was tagged.

You see, I still remember the first day at TARC too. I was very lonely and afraid. Not homesick but scared of a future I didn't really want. I sat in a crowded hall where everybody seemed to know everybody else (or so I told myself) and everybody spoke in a language that should have been my mother tongue but was as alien to me as...well...as gibberish. My roommate was a cold fish. Literally. With a standoffish aura so strong it could send an ox running for the hills. Plus she wasn't inclined to be all that helpful, senior or no.

I still remember when I thanked God for the girls beside and in front of me. Thank you for speaking English and for being so nice. It's always funny how people say I am a very social person because I really don't think I am. But the girl in front of me changed so many things. She invited me to have dinner with her. A real first for me because no one, up to that point, had asked me out without an ulterior motive.

I was used to having "friends" that used me. I chose to be blind about it. But this girl was different; so self-assured and even though I barely knew her...I felt safe with her. Like she really wanted to spend time with me...not for what I could give but for what I was.

I haven't been an angel either, for all the years we've known each other. But I was always glad that no matter what problems we were facing, this girl was always honest. Brutal, sometimes...but always honest. And always there.

Then after amzing times at TARC where I really had the best time of my life, we went to UTAR. It wasn't easy but we stuck out the first trial of Uni life together...problems with friends...with lecturers....with other students... and years later when it was all finally over, I was glad to have you and all my close friends.

It wasn't easy getting to where we were, but I was very touched when you obviously considered me a very important person in your life.

Someone once said to me, "How can you consider yourself best friends if you don't know everything about each other or even spend time together?"

Back then I would have agreed. Now all I can say is, being best friends is not about how much time we spend together or how much we tell each other. It's about being there for each other. To help and to accept that person no matter the flaws or the problems because no one is perfect. I know you'll be there for me because even though we barely speak/chat or see each other if I needed you, you'd come running and so would I.

And it feels wonderful to know that someone is grateful for your existence. And I am very thankful for that. I am very glad for the first day we met and you made being far away from everything I know bearable and fun. Thank you so much for being there for me and for accepting who and what I am.

Most of all, thank you for making me feel less invisible. It means so much to me...more than I can say. I love you too and one day when we are old, we can gather the gang together and marvel at how we made it.

Because we will make it. Girl (and red clog) power!! *hugz*

Day Six & Seven: *crawls to the finish line*

I know it's been a while since the diet's over but I never really had the time to blog about it.

Day Six was another stretch. One where you knew the end was near...oh so near...and yet so far. It really wasn't supposed to be all that bad, what with the introduction of meat back on the menu. But it seemed like my appetite had shrunk and I really wasn't all that motivated to eat.

The same happened on the Seventh day when I sliced my finger open on a date. By date I mean the kind you eat. Actually I was pretty careless with the knife and I really wanted to give up then. But then I thought, I'd stuck it out for SEVEN days and this was the last. Why give up now?

I've been giving up on stuff my whole life. I wanted to know I could stick something out to the end. And so I did.

When I stepped on the scale when next I could...I really couldn't believe it. 5Kg gone just like that!!

So it really wasn't a waste.

I honestly haven't gotten started on my list because I am afraid...because I make excuses even to myself.

Not anymore. I want this...for now this is my priority. And it seems whoever is up there wants to give me encouragement because out of the blue, an old school friend posted pictures of us all in Primary Four. The year everything began to fall apart.

And I see myself; smiling, confident, skinny and happy and I wonder...where is this girl? Well she's in here somewhere. :)

Day Five: Two...Days....To....Go.....

If yesterday was stuffed-to-the-max day, today my seams burst~!

*sigh*

I used to be a picky eater. Well....my taste in food has always been pretty....cafe-y. Now when I get a whiff of ANY food I instantly start craving it.
Simple chicken rice sounds absolutely divine now. *sigh*

Chose to go swimming in the evening today, instead of the morning. I've realized that with a little meat I have way way WAY more energy so I managed 12 laps today! Soon I'll get to 20 laps!!

Jenna Babe showed me a pic of the Second-runner up for TBL Season 2... SO MOTIVATIONAL!!
If Suzy Preston can do it, whose to say I cannot???

*grits teeth*

I will lose all the excess by September!! Must look good for WQ's wedding! :) Must be ready to start anew... :D

Day Four: Oh Dear....

Today (ok, yesterday) pretty much was a stuffed-to-the-max day.
Maybe the diet's shrinking my appetite because no way two bananas and one glass of milk can fill me up like that on normal days!

I think I actually prefer bananas to the ghastly watermelon day because at least on Day 4 I can drink as much ABC soup as I want!

Anyways, popped over to Tesco to try and get more rabbit food *ahem* I mean carrots and tomatoes and the like... but I think a swarm of hungry aunties must've descended on Tesco before we even got there because the veggie display was practically empty! *sigh*

Met Joa and May in the aisles and I almost couldn't recognize May for a while! Lolz~! I guess that's how long I haven't seen you. Oh well, when my diet's over we're going for a healthy dinner together, ya? Japanese sound healthy enough? *grinz in anticipation*

Ok, time to pop over to Cold Storage for somemore foodstuffs. I think this diet is pretty exxy. Or maybe its because we're very picky veggie-eaters and the veggies we usually eat are only available in the organic variety. Yeesh!

Twitter-ing away...

Ok, I've fallen prey to the latest app fad, Twitter!
It's so much easier than blogging though the setback is that its really limited.

Still... easier to keep in touch eh? :D

Day Three: A Little Better

Ok, I know it's only about 9.45 pm but technially the day is over.

So here's how today went.

Went to Japanese class without brekkie because I wasn't keen on having warm watermelon so I was so tired and dizzy during class its a wonder I could answer at all. Of course my Japanese seems to be getting worse but hey....that's what happens when you miss 4 classes!!

Anyways, the bombshell is that next week is the last class... after which its revision week and then *gulp* exams. I think I'm going to fail pretty badly but this diet is making me very lethargic and that seems to be slowing my brain capacity.

Anyways, the fruit and veggie combi isn't all that bad although I am 100% certain I was born to be a carnivor. It's HELL having ONLY fruits and veggies!!

I still haven't broken and I will try and do this to the end!! Off to get me mango and grapes now! :)

Ps: I want Marie Digby's "Breathing Underwater" album!!!!!

Day Two: Horrible, Terrible and lots and LOTS of vegetables

*sigh*

I should have blogged yesterday but a carnivor living on a steady diet of only veggies gets lethargic really easily.

So yeah, I zonked out quite early yesterday.

So, I survived yet another day without breaking the diet. Already feeling the constant call of rice and meat so it was really really hard to stay on the diet. Especially when fate is being a bitch.

On normal days, I get to pretty much settle my own dinners. Now, when I am on a diet, suddenly people remember me and want to have DINNER. *sobz*
I'd like to go for a proper dinner but hey...I promised I'd stick it out.

So I went to bed knowing I am full but feeling totally unsatisfied.

We shall see how today, all veggie and fruits day, works out.

*tummy growls*

Day One: Absolute Torture

*tummy groans*

Today, has been a day of absolute and complete torture.
I can't even believe I actually didn't crack...not one teensy tiny weeny bit.
I was tempted...oh yes I was!

But I am proud to say I didn't even cheat.
*tummy growls in response*

Anyways, this is the first day of the week long diet that was brought to my attention by a very good friend (fellow sufferer actually). Apparently it really worked for a mutual friend of ours...so much so that when I saw a picture of said friend I did NOT recognize him. At all.

So anyways, Day One calls for a day where one has to eat fruits. And ONLY fruits. Supposedly melons are best. So my fellow sufferer and I bought two watermelons (for today and another diet day).

It was GHASTLY to say the least. I will NEVER be able to look a watermelon in the face again...or at least for a long long long time. And I used to LOVE watermelon. *makes a face*

The watermelons we bought we....horrid. A little sourish...tasted earthy *urk* and was really very hard to swallow. Imagine a day of eating ONLY that. Not only did my tummy feel abused, its constant reminders are VERY hard to ignore.

In any case, I survived. And I did NOT cheat at all. Even though I was sorely tempted. *sigh* I am actually really looking forward to tomorrow because tomorrow....is ALL VEGGIE DAY!!

At least cooked veggie would be more filling and tasty than watermelon...right?? We shall have to see. :)

Wow....

Last night at Tenji@Solaris, Mont Kiara was the most FUN I've had in a long long LONG time!

Minus the missed chance to see a certain someone take on the Super Spicy Ramen challenge...the food and company was really really interesting and I haven't laughed like that in so long.

The food was pretty ok and the selection was big though not as crazy huge as Saisaki!

The night started off....a bit oddly since I didn't (and still do not) know one of the people present at this very small gathering. Not to mention not really knowing the birthday boy which makes it odd that I was invited. :S

And of course, we get lost. LOLz~! After ending up at some area that looks vaguely like Mont Kiara (not a single one of us have ever been to Solaris) we had to ask directions from a strange old man with an excellent memory albeit a roundabout way of explaining it. After finally getting to Solaris (which is pretty awesome and has really cool quiet pubs) we get into Tenji for....a really filling buffet dinner.

(what we all had...and what I can remember!)

First Course:

Tamago (egg), sushi, inari, abalone, honey pumpkin, giant fresh oysters, scallops, a giant plate of Haagen Dazs (shared la!) and...really really fresh SASHIMI~!!!!

(already feeling ultra-stuffed)

Second Course:

Amori Beef (grilled beef with enoki mushrooms), crunchy honey fried something (lolz!), fresh Thai coconut, fresh steamed cod fish, super spicy ramen, tempura prawns, grilled mushrooms, chawan mushi, grilled beef, soft roll, some grilled stuff on a stick, HUGE chili crabs and lamb cutlets.

FINAL Course:

Marshmallows and pavlova dipped in delicious melted chocolate, tiraimisu, a LOT of cakes and some jelly.

The drink selection is really crazy but the cocktail tubes are worth trying out! Not too much though or you'll find yourself unable to walk. Lolz~!

All that (and lots lots LOTS more) is worth less than Rm 50!! Pretty affordable and yummy Japanese buffet. Lolz~!


Now anyone up for drinks at Solaris? ;)

Ps: Thanks Carmen, Li Ren, Kenneth (Happy Birthday!), LY, Phuah (for driving us LoLz~!) and a guy-whose-name-I-don't-know!! It was an awesome night. Thanks for the laughs and for making me feel like one of you guys. :)

Time Flies...

A week has passed....my personal deadline is up and I am still clueless.

I honestly don't know what I want from life. Today is the first time I am consciously going for something that is supposed to "expand my social circle". Apprehensive?

You BET!

So strange that I seem to be unable to function in social situations. Perhaps it really is true, at heart I am a loner. Or maybe its just that demon of low-self esteem whispering in my ear.

I've decided to start a resolutions list.... one I will keep adding to and ticking off. All the things (sometimes so simple I can't believe I haven't done it!) I've always wanted to do. :)



LIST OF STUFF TO DO:
1) Cook a three dish meal
2) Take belly dancing classes
3) Take a short baking course
4) Save moolah for trip to L.A. Xmas 2009!
5) Go Genting with my girls
6) Go Macau with mom
7) Buy a maxi dress (or a coloured top)
8) Watch a musical LIVE!
9) Do a Candy Photography session!
10) Take up Yoga again
11) Buy a new swimsuit
12) Go try out the Korean restaurant in Sec 14 (been meaning to do this since Year One!!!)
13) Go shopping in Bangkok
14) Try and take at least one good photo a day for Deviantart!


That's all I have for now... :)

::~:: Changes::~::
Artiste: Butterfly Boucher

Oh yeah
Mm
Still don’t know what I was lookin for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t want to be a richer one
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different one
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
They're immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Where’s your shame
You’ve left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can’t trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Ah changes are taking the pace I’m going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock ’n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you’re gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time

Credits: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/butterflyboucher/changes.html

The first day...

Freedom....it's a double-edged sword.

It cuts the chains that hold you captive....but it can also cut close into deep places you never even knew you had. Too much time on my hands!

What to do...what to do? I need a project.... any ideas? Lolz~!