Dearest Gilly,
Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. The moon tonight, there's a circle around it. Sign of trouble not far behind.
I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night, wanting. But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing, I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen.
I don't know. Maybe I've had my happiness. I don't want to believe it but, there is no man Gilly. Only that moon.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Love Story (Taylor Swift) meets Viva La Vida (Coldplay)~!!
Ok...this is an absolutely AMAZING arrangement that I CAN'T stop listening to~!!!! GAH~!!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Of musicals...and the current generation
I've been hopping from musical to musical on Youtube, past, present and the future and I keep seeing the same thing popping up.
"Wow, it's like High School Musical!"
"I hope it'll be like HSM!"
"So...it's kinda like HSM?"
Hello??? Comparing amazing musicals with really deep meanings such as West Side Story to HSM??? If you listen very carefully, every musical has very deep meaning to them no matter how whimsical the show is. Even Hairspray is about racial intergration and acceptance.
HSM, for all its catchy music and well done dance numbers can hardly be compared to the others~!! How in the world does anyone compare HSM to Fame? Or even Grease?? HSM is like Introduction to Musicals 101, but most certainly should not be compared to the greats!!
I DO like HSM.... I really like HSM3 but seriously... it is NOT comparable to any of the others out there!! It's kinda like saying, "Whitney Houston? Wow, she sounds kinda like Miley Cyrus!"
I really wish people would go experience even better things before saying the mediocre is better than a great they know nothing about!
If they do, and still prefer their first choice then there really is nothing wrong with that, cos it's personal preference!! But really, to compare a great to something so simple in ignorance is really annoying!!
I remember my first introduction to musicals very vividly. I was sitting in the car listening to my Fantastic Females CD (you know....with Britney, Jessica Simpson, M2M). I was pretty young...around 6 maybe... Then my godmom turned around and asked me why was I listening to such crap.
Then she told me to try something else and popped in an Andrew Lloyd Webber disc. When Sarah Brightman sang "Phantom of the Opera", Julie Covington sang "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" and Elaine Page made me cry with "Memory", I knew I had never heard music like this before.
Music that tells a story...that has substance! Instead of the constant whining about break-ups and simpering songs about falling in love (or crush), I'd found something which really touched me. I remember being brought to watch Sunset Boulevard on West End.
It was an experience I NEVER forgot! Even now I can remember the songs. The stage was pure magic to me and the beginning of a love affair with musicals and stage shows. I went with my music teacher every year to the annual opera (when Kee Phaik Chin was active) and I got to see La Traviata, The Merry Widow and Turandot! It was beautiful and a real eye-opener.
These days I can't afford a ticket to go see shows live on Broadway or West End. So like all others like myself, I wait for the movie adaptation. In some ways it's good and other ways its not because movies can do things stage shows can't. Movies can take you to Greece and into a real twisting labyrinth under an opera house but stage shows allow you to let your imagination soar!
I can't wait for the upcoming crop of musicals to come! Fame (2009)...and Nine... and maybe even Wicked! Sunset Boulevard was supposed to be made into a movie but it still hasn't moved. I'd really love to see a musical movie version of Les Miserables and Miss Saigon~!! Perhaps it really is the time for the return of musicals?
HSM was a good starting point. But kids! There is a bigger more magical world of musicals out there! Go experience it and you'll see what I mean!
"Wow, it's like High School Musical!"
"I hope it'll be like HSM!"
"So...it's kinda like HSM?"
Hello??? Comparing amazing musicals with really deep meanings such as West Side Story to HSM??? If you listen very carefully, every musical has very deep meaning to them no matter how whimsical the show is. Even Hairspray is about racial intergration and acceptance.
HSM, for all its catchy music and well done dance numbers can hardly be compared to the others~!! How in the world does anyone compare HSM to Fame? Or even Grease?? HSM is like Introduction to Musicals 101, but most certainly should not be compared to the greats!!
I DO like HSM.... I really like HSM3 but seriously... it is NOT comparable to any of the others out there!! It's kinda like saying, "Whitney Houston? Wow, she sounds kinda like Miley Cyrus!"
I really wish people would go experience even better things before saying the mediocre is better than a great they know nothing about!
If they do, and still prefer their first choice then there really is nothing wrong with that, cos it's personal preference!! But really, to compare a great to something so simple in ignorance is really annoying!!
I remember my first introduction to musicals very vividly. I was sitting in the car listening to my Fantastic Females CD (you know....with Britney, Jessica Simpson, M2M). I was pretty young...around 6 maybe... Then my godmom turned around and asked me why was I listening to such crap.
Then she told me to try something else and popped in an Andrew Lloyd Webber disc. When Sarah Brightman sang "Phantom of the Opera", Julie Covington sang "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" and Elaine Page made me cry with "Memory", I knew I had never heard music like this before.
Music that tells a story...that has substance! Instead of the constant whining about break-ups and simpering songs about falling in love (or crush), I'd found something which really touched me. I remember being brought to watch Sunset Boulevard on West End.
It was an experience I NEVER forgot! Even now I can remember the songs. The stage was pure magic to me and the beginning of a love affair with musicals and stage shows. I went with my music teacher every year to the annual opera (when Kee Phaik Chin was active) and I got to see La Traviata, The Merry Widow and Turandot! It was beautiful and a real eye-opener.
These days I can't afford a ticket to go see shows live on Broadway or West End. So like all others like myself, I wait for the movie adaptation. In some ways it's good and other ways its not because movies can do things stage shows can't. Movies can take you to Greece and into a real twisting labyrinth under an opera house but stage shows allow you to let your imagination soar!
I can't wait for the upcoming crop of musicals to come! Fame (2009)...and Nine... and maybe even Wicked! Sunset Boulevard was supposed to be made into a movie but it still hasn't moved. I'd really love to see a musical movie version of Les Miserables and Miss Saigon~!! Perhaps it really is the time for the return of musicals?
HSM was a good starting point. But kids! There is a bigger more magical world of musicals out there! Go experience it and you'll see what I mean!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Sad and disgusted...
Some people are simply unbelievable! A man, once great, who loved children with all his heart just passed away and what I see are people who post condolence messages yet add their own snide and malicious comments.
Tell me, why say you're sorry the man died if you have nothing nice to say about him? What is the point of joining a hundred groups dedicated to him because your friends did? It's nothing short of disgusting.
If you believe he did what they said he did to children, then that's your perogative and its fine. But DON'T say you're sorry he died then say things like, "Oh, so now his stuff is really gonna sell!" or "Fans mourn, children rejoice."
Tell me, since when do children rejoice over the DEATH of someone?
And really, what makes you any better than those vultures circling around him now or total fakes who merely go along with the crowd simply because everyone else does? If you belive in his guilt, then it is YOUR beliefs. There are millions who don't believe he was guilty and love his music, and those millions are truly saddened at his sudden demise.
I grew up with his music and what I learnt was that he was a man who tried to change the world. Who tried to reach out with his music and teach us to love the environment, to put aside our differences, to love children and to heal the world simply by looking at ourselves first and making the first step in our own neighbourhoods. He may have had his flaws but who doesn't?
Which man is infalliable?
All I have to say is, "Let he among us without sin, be the first to condemn!"
It is not for us to judge because WE were not personally wronged. What is wrong is to pretend or affect sympathy and sadness because others do!
This is my own opinion and frankly, if you have something snide to say, then fine. That's your perogative. But think first of his family and the people who loved him. Then ask yourself, what was the point of you offering false condolences? It is neither amusing nor funny.
Peace.
Tell me, why say you're sorry the man died if you have nothing nice to say about him? What is the point of joining a hundred groups dedicated to him because your friends did? It's nothing short of disgusting.
If you believe he did what they said he did to children, then that's your perogative and its fine. But DON'T say you're sorry he died then say things like, "Oh, so now his stuff is really gonna sell!" or "Fans mourn, children rejoice."
Tell me, since when do children rejoice over the DEATH of someone?
And really, what makes you any better than those vultures circling around him now or total fakes who merely go along with the crowd simply because everyone else does? If you belive in his guilt, then it is YOUR beliefs. There are millions who don't believe he was guilty and love his music, and those millions are truly saddened at his sudden demise.
I grew up with his music and what I learnt was that he was a man who tried to change the world. Who tried to reach out with his music and teach us to love the environment, to put aside our differences, to love children and to heal the world simply by looking at ourselves first and making the first step in our own neighbourhoods. He may have had his flaws but who doesn't?
Which man is infalliable?
All I have to say is, "Let he among us without sin, be the first to condemn!"
It is not for us to judge because WE were not personally wronged. What is wrong is to pretend or affect sympathy and sadness because others do!
This is my own opinion and frankly, if you have something snide to say, then fine. That's your perogative. But think first of his family and the people who loved him. Then ask yourself, what was the point of you offering false condolences? It is neither amusing nor funny.
Peace.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
The simplest things...
I classify myself as a person who is very forgettable. Who is...just someone you pass on your way to your ultimate destination in life...someone who brushes up against you and yet leaves only a vague impression. Someone who is an invisble support system who will never be seen or heard.
I have always believed that there had to be a reason for everything. And yet, as cynical as I am, I still want to believe in magic. Some sort...any sort.
Today I turned on my computer like any other day and remembered to check my e-mail...amidst the multitudes of spam and updates for things I don't even remember subscribing to I saw a note upon which I was tagged.
You see, I still remember the first day at TARC too. I was very lonely and afraid. Not homesick but scared of a future I didn't really want. I sat in a crowded hall where everybody seemed to know everybody else (or so I told myself) and everybody spoke in a language that should have been my mother tongue but was as alien to me as...well...as gibberish. My roommate was a cold fish. Literally. With a standoffish aura so strong it could send an ox running for the hills. Plus she wasn't inclined to be all that helpful, senior or no.
I still remember when I thanked God for the girls beside and in front of me. Thank you for speaking English and for being so nice. It's always funny how people say I am a very social person because I really don't think I am. But the girl in front of me changed so many things. She invited me to have dinner with her. A real first for me because no one, up to that point, had asked me out without an ulterior motive.
I was used to having "friends" that used me. I chose to be blind about it. But this girl was different; so self-assured and even though I barely knew her...I felt safe with her. Like she really wanted to spend time with me...not for what I could give but for what I was.
I haven't been an angel either, for all the years we've known each other. But I was always glad that no matter what problems we were facing, this girl was always honest. Brutal, sometimes...but always honest. And always there.
Then after amzing times at TARC where I really had the best time of my life, we went to UTAR. It wasn't easy but we stuck out the first trial of Uni life together...problems with friends...with lecturers....with other students... and years later when it was all finally over, I was glad to have you and all my close friends.
It wasn't easy getting to where we were, but I was very touched when you obviously considered me a very important person in your life.
Someone once said to me, "How can you consider yourself best friends if you don't know everything about each other or even spend time together?"
Back then I would have agreed. Now all I can say is, being best friends is not about how much time we spend together or how much we tell each other. It's about being there for each other. To help and to accept that person no matter the flaws or the problems because no one is perfect. I know you'll be there for me because even though we barely speak/chat or see each other if I needed you, you'd come running and so would I.
And it feels wonderful to know that someone is grateful for your existence. And I am very thankful for that. I am very glad for the first day we met and you made being far away from everything I know bearable and fun. Thank you so much for being there for me and for accepting who and what I am.
Most of all, thank you for making me feel less invisible. It means so much to me...more than I can say. I love you too and one day when we are old, we can gather the gang together and marvel at how we made it.
Because we will make it. Girl (and red clog) power!! *hugz*
I have always believed that there had to be a reason for everything. And yet, as cynical as I am, I still want to believe in magic. Some sort...any sort.
Today I turned on my computer like any other day and remembered to check my e-mail...amidst the multitudes of spam and updates for things I don't even remember subscribing to I saw a note upon which I was tagged.
You see, I still remember the first day at TARC too. I was very lonely and afraid. Not homesick but scared of a future I didn't really want. I sat in a crowded hall where everybody seemed to know everybody else (or so I told myself) and everybody spoke in a language that should have been my mother tongue but was as alien to me as...well...as gibberish. My roommate was a cold fish. Literally. With a standoffish aura so strong it could send an ox running for the hills. Plus she wasn't inclined to be all that helpful, senior or no.
I still remember when I thanked God for the girls beside and in front of me. Thank you for speaking English and for being so nice. It's always funny how people say I am a very social person because I really don't think I am. But the girl in front of me changed so many things. She invited me to have dinner with her. A real first for me because no one, up to that point, had asked me out without an ulterior motive.
I was used to having "friends" that used me. I chose to be blind about it. But this girl was different; so self-assured and even though I barely knew her...I felt safe with her. Like she really wanted to spend time with me...not for what I could give but for what I was.
I haven't been an angel either, for all the years we've known each other. But I was always glad that no matter what problems we were facing, this girl was always honest. Brutal, sometimes...but always honest. And always there.
Then after amzing times at TARC where I really had the best time of my life, we went to UTAR. It wasn't easy but we stuck out the first trial of Uni life together...problems with friends...with lecturers....with other students... and years later when it was all finally over, I was glad to have you and all my close friends.
It wasn't easy getting to where we were, but I was very touched when you obviously considered me a very important person in your life.
Someone once said to me, "How can you consider yourself best friends if you don't know everything about each other or even spend time together?"
Back then I would have agreed. Now all I can say is, being best friends is not about how much time we spend together or how much we tell each other. It's about being there for each other. To help and to accept that person no matter the flaws or the problems because no one is perfect. I know you'll be there for me because even though we barely speak/chat or see each other if I needed you, you'd come running and so would I.
And it feels wonderful to know that someone is grateful for your existence. And I am very thankful for that. I am very glad for the first day we met and you made being far away from everything I know bearable and fun. Thank you so much for being there for me and for accepting who and what I am.
Most of all, thank you for making me feel less invisible. It means so much to me...more than I can say. I love you too and one day when we are old, we can gather the gang together and marvel at how we made it.
Because we will make it. Girl (and red clog) power!! *hugz*
Day Six & Seven: *crawls to the finish line*
I know it's been a while since the diet's over but I never really had the time to blog about it.
Day Six was another stretch. One where you knew the end was near...oh so near...and yet so far. It really wasn't supposed to be all that bad, what with the introduction of meat back on the menu. But it seemed like my appetite had shrunk and I really wasn't all that motivated to eat.
The same happened on the Seventh day when I sliced my finger open on a date. By date I mean the kind you eat. Actually I was pretty careless with the knife and I really wanted to give up then. But then I thought, I'd stuck it out for SEVEN days and this was the last. Why give up now?
I've been giving up on stuff my whole life. I wanted to know I could stick something out to the end. And so I did.
When I stepped on the scale when next I could...I really couldn't believe it. 5Kg gone just like that!!
So it really wasn't a waste.
I honestly haven't gotten started on my list because I am afraid...because I make excuses even to myself.
Not anymore. I want this...for now this is my priority. And it seems whoever is up there wants to give me encouragement because out of the blue, an old school friend posted pictures of us all in Primary Four. The year everything began to fall apart.
And I see myself; smiling, confident, skinny and happy and I wonder...where is this girl? Well she's in here somewhere. :)
Day Six was another stretch. One where you knew the end was near...oh so near...and yet so far. It really wasn't supposed to be all that bad, what with the introduction of meat back on the menu. But it seemed like my appetite had shrunk and I really wasn't all that motivated to eat.
The same happened on the Seventh day when I sliced my finger open on a date. By date I mean the kind you eat. Actually I was pretty careless with the knife and I really wanted to give up then. But then I thought, I'd stuck it out for SEVEN days and this was the last. Why give up now?
I've been giving up on stuff my whole life. I wanted to know I could stick something out to the end. And so I did.
When I stepped on the scale when next I could...I really couldn't believe it. 5Kg gone just like that!!
So it really wasn't a waste.
I honestly haven't gotten started on my list because I am afraid...because I make excuses even to myself.
Not anymore. I want this...for now this is my priority. And it seems whoever is up there wants to give me encouragement because out of the blue, an old school friend posted pictures of us all in Primary Four. The year everything began to fall apart.
And I see myself; smiling, confident, skinny and happy and I wonder...where is this girl? Well she's in here somewhere. :)
Monday, June 15, 2009
Day Five: Two...Days....To....Go.....
If yesterday was stuffed-to-the-max day, today my seams burst~!
*sigh*
I used to be a picky eater. Well....my taste in food has always been pretty....cafe-y. Now when I get a whiff of ANY food I instantly start craving it.
Simple chicken rice sounds absolutely divine now. *sigh*
Chose to go swimming in the evening today, instead of the morning. I've realized that with a little meat I have way way WAY more energy so I managed 12 laps today! Soon I'll get to 20 laps!!
Jenna Babe showed me a pic of the Second-runner up for TBL Season 2... SO MOTIVATIONAL!!
If Suzy Preston can do it, whose to say I cannot???
*grits teeth*
I will lose all the excess by September!! Must look good for WQ's wedding! :) Must be ready to start anew... :D
*sigh*
I used to be a picky eater. Well....my taste in food has always been pretty....cafe-y. Now when I get a whiff of ANY food I instantly start craving it.
Simple chicken rice sounds absolutely divine now. *sigh*
Chose to go swimming in the evening today, instead of the morning. I've realized that with a little meat I have way way WAY more energy so I managed 12 laps today! Soon I'll get to 20 laps!!
Jenna Babe showed me a pic of the Second-runner up for TBL Season 2... SO MOTIVATIONAL!!
If Suzy Preston can do it, whose to say I cannot???
*grits teeth*
I will lose all the excess by September!! Must look good for WQ's wedding! :) Must be ready to start anew... :D
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